You Are Entirely up to You
While shopping for a new notebook, I observed an interesting exchange between a woman and her daughter. The girl had picked up a notebook with "you are entirely up to you" printed on the cover. Her mother, kept commenting on how that was a silly phrase and didn't make any sense. It was ironic, for someone who doesn't get that they choose their own destiny, the phrase wouldn't make sense. I felt sorry for both of them, and continued on in my quest.
Being in control of your life and how others see you, have been on my mind a lot lately. After starting my current job, I had a really hard time figuring out who I was. Leaving my previous work behind was scary, exciting, and also left me with a bit of an identity crisis. So many of us tie our identities to our work and then when we make a change, it feels like suddenly you are a new person. I recently had a dream in which I lost my left arm and had a prosthesis. To me, it was so obvious. I wouldn't go outside and peppered any conversation I had with acknowledgement and reference to it. Over the course of the dream, I stopped talking about it so much and as I stopped mentioning it and people stopped looking, it turned back into my real arm. I am not full on woo but I'm pretty woo and to me this was 100% about self-perception and insecurity.
It is so normal to worry about what others think, and while there are those who care less than others, I honestly don't believe there's anyone who truly doesn't think about how he or she is perceived by others. Often we poke fun at ourselves and acknowledge our shortcomings to feel in control. What I've come to realize is that this does exactly the opposite. It puts things we are self-conscious about in the forefront and makes us sound unsure of ourselves. We should be championing our strengths, not ridiculing ourselves.
Since my dream, I've been thinking about how I can present myself as I want to be seen. Whether I'm having a breakout or worried about x, y, or z, I deserve to present my strongest and best self. We are social creatures and follow the cues others give us; I'm no longer going to give anyone the wrong first note, it's only pitch perfect from here on out, at least that's the goal.
Would love to hear your thoughts!