Where SHOULD you be? Right where you are!
Apologies for the week+ of no posts. I’ve been having trouble sleeping recently and my energy levels have taken a hit. Waking up between 2:19am and 3:43am (so specific I know) daily for no rhyme or reason was “ok” once, “annoying but whatever” twice, and now is just infuriating. At least there have been some good movies on TV.
Recently, I’ve found myself assuring several friends when it comes to the “shoulds.” You know, where one should be professionally, personally, romantically, etc. by age X. The first time I offered advice, I wasn’t sure if I myself was fully convinced that there really isn’t a right/wrong because self-doubt is so easy, especially now that we are constantly surrounded by highly curated views of the lives of those we know, and those we don’t. However, after having repeated it in various iterations over the past few weeks, I realize that I am 100% of the belief that there is no single way that age X looks.
The more you think about it, the more ridiculous the notion that there is a standard becomes. Given the different interests, lifestyles, backgrounds, gender identities, abilities, educations, need I continue?, that we all have, how could any two people possibly be at the same place simply because they were born close in time or look to one set of metrics to determine if they are on track? Just last week someone told me that she thought I was married, another woman asked me if I had children, and an online quiz analyzed my Facebook profile picture and informed me that I look 19. Clearly these three things are not mutually exclusive, but you get the idea. All of this is to say that wherever you are (myself included) is the right place for you at this moment and it doesn't indicate where you are going. It's the journey, not the destination (cue Miley Cyrus' "The Climb"). To be totally honest and a bit grim, we all have the same destination and frankly I'm in no hurry to get there. Instead we need to focus on what happens along the way, the lessons we learn, the people we get to meet; these variable will be different for everyone and that's what makes life so wonderful. No matter how you feel, where you should be is right where you are and tomorrow you'll be wherever you should be for tomorrow.